I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
