By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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