I must be too annoying 4 u.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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