No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize