i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
