it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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