Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
