i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
