Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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