Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It was a blind-side dick pic.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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