You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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