You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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