well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
