Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
