You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
