Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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