it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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