Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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