Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
