at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
