How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
