This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
