did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
