Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
