tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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