Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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