So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
