Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
