Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
