Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
