i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize