I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize