we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize