sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
