If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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