Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
did you just send me my own nude
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
