I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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