the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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