Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
