i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
