so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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