I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
