Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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