is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
