So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
