ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
