If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Randomize
