There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
