I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
