I think my fart just growled at me.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
