The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
