he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Alive.
So much puke
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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