I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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