Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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