how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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