I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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