Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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