I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
